where did i go wrong i lost a friend

I haven't written down my thoughts in a while, namely because I've been keeping the inside of me for the most part. I realize for the most part it makes me hectic, confused, and overall it doesn't help much.

I know I'm slowly letting go of him, and that was the first step I managed, coming over that addiction. Now I suppose it's time to handle the one nearest and dearest to me - just leaving the one person whose life I have fucked up beyond belief.

Talking to him less and less is basically taking all of my self control and I'm fighting to keep myself sane, to really be myself. I know I took the smallest step really and its a start, but I need to just keep pushing myself further.